MYTHS, LIES & TRUTH
Welcome to the first module on your Journey to Conscious Aging. In this video, we’ll be discussing the myths, lies and truths about the aging process. It is my intention that you become conscious of what the beliefs are behind your fears. In order to do that, I recommend that you listen to this entire video once through. You can skip over the parts where it suggests that you reflect and write in your Journal. I want you to get a feel for the whole program first – and then go back and do the exercises when you can give them the proper time. To get the most out of this experience, it should be done this way I know it will change your life and give you incredible peace of mind. So, let’s begin.
How do you view old age and the process of aging? What is OLD for you? Are you Old? Or is old something- anything beyond where you are at the present moment? We don’t like to identify ourselves as old because the view that we hold of aging is not a good one. We automatically see the aging process as the process of becoming feeble, less aware or less mentally alert; we see a greater need for dependence on others. We fear being unable to take care of ourselves. And, yes, in many cases we fear illness, loneliness, isolation and ultimately the fear of death.
However, researchers are discovering that these beliefs are simply myths, which then become self-fulfilling prophecies. Fortunately, there is a new view of aging, which recognizes the abilities and potential of the elderly individual and debunks the misconceptions of the aging process.
http://tonilamotta.com/consciousaging/myth-quiz/
Myths about Senility and Personality Change
One of the common misunderstandings about the aging process is that it inevitably leads to senility. Memory loss, intellectual decline, and confusion are not normal parts of the aging process. Researchers have clearly demonstrated that while there is some decline in memory and sometimes in intellectual function, the changes are inconsequential for those who remain physically and emotionally healthy. The truth is that the accumulated knowledge alone helps one to make better judgments and solve problems more easily when one keeps active and healthy while aging.
The key factors in maintaining or improving mental capacities in later life are social involvement and flexibility. That means, that you can retain mental capacity by staying actively involved in family and society and by staying open to change and new experiences. Other research implies that emotional well being may be as influential on the aging mind as mental activity. I’ve been visiting a woman who is 104 and she’s a perfect example of someone who finds life satisfying. She tells me all the time, and I can clearly see how content she is with her life which keeps her from negative emotions like anger, depression and anxiety. I have seen the opposite in people much younger who are continually fighting “what is” and longing for things to be the way they used to. But, both studies and spiritual teaching tell us that the key to consciousness is acceptance of whatever is. It appears that the key to mental and emotional well being is the same.
One of the strongest beliefs about old age is that it causes dementia. Dementia is the result of disease, not aging. Scientists who have studied the brain assure us that the mind’s accumulation of knowledge remains intact, though it can at times be harder to tap into during old age. Neuroscientists have found that it is primarily the brain’s “hardware” — the billions of connections and relay switches that act as processing equipment — that is vulnerable to wearing out with age. Meanwhile, the brain’s “software” — the actual information that fills up the mind over a lifetime — does not deteriorate and continues to grow more sophisticated with each passing year. When you run new software on an old computer, it takes more time and often causes problems. The same is true of the human brain – speed and accuracy may be effected later in life as well.
While at times, everyone experiences some memory lapse, the question of memory loss as we age
One of the most famous studies about MEMORY loss was done by Ellen Langer and Harvard colleague Rebecca Levy, Ph.D., They have shown that becoming forgetful in old age is not inevitable. At least part of the reason our memory gets worse is that we expect it to.
To test this idea, the two psychologists conducted research on memory and attitude towards aging in two groups: Americans who are deaf and people from mainland China. These groups are less likely than most Americans to have been exposed to negative cultural stereotypes of aging.
Using standard psychological measurements of memory, the researchers tested both groups and compared them to a group of elderly mainstream Americans. In addition, the researchers compared memory retention in the elderly with younger people in all three groups.
Not only did the mainland Chinese and American deaf far outperform the mainstream Americans on four psychological memory tests, but the oldest in these two groups, especially the Chinese, performed almost as well as the youngest. The strength of their performance even surprised the researchers. They concluded that the results can be explained entirely by the fact that the Chinese have the most positive, active, and “internal” image of aging across the three cultures studied.
What is particularly striking about the Langer-Levy study is that it meticulously tracks how our fears, which are so culturally constructed, become self-fulfilling prophecies.
Our fear of memory loss can create actual memory decline. You may want to pause this video and journal about this. What have your beliefs been about memory loss? Have you believed it was inevitable, or maybe even hereditary? Let this study guide you to a new way of thinking and help to release some of your fears.
Another common misconception about old age is that personality inevitable changes and that individuals become grouchy and harder to live with. Once again, research studies have proven that the personality remains extremely stable with aging. In other words, someone who is cheerful and optimistic remains so throughout life, while a person who is grouchy and pessimistic in early life keeps the same personality characteristics in later life. When changes do seem to occur, once again, it is a function of disease – not age.
In addition, the dread of aging may be taking its toll on many other body systems. Physical and mental decline is not inevitable. Belief that it is what accelerates any decline.
Myths Regarding Functional Decline and Aging
Another misconception about older people is that growing old inevitably results in untreatable health problems. There is an assumption that there will automatically be substantial deterioration of physical capabilities, and that nothing can or should be done about them. How often have you heard even doctors say – oh – it’s just your age! Do you ever attribute physical symptoms such as back pain and hearing loss to the “natural consequences of getting old.”
Well consider this – scientists are increasingly realizing that both these symptoms are reflective of treatable diseases, and are not just the inevitable realities of the aging process. Of course, older persons must take the steps necessary to take care of themselves holistically or get the medical attention needed and not just succumb to the myths of aging.
How individuals approach aging can make all the difference in how the years affect them. “People slow down as they grow older because they expect to,” says Deepak Chopra, M.D., in his book Ageless Body, Timeless Mind. “We think of older people as wrinkled and plump, with gnarled hands and feeble gait — and gradually, inexorably, we let ourselves become those people.”
Of all age groups, the elderly have the most to gain by being active. Many studies have shown that the elderly can retain vigor, muscle tone, and a strong immune system in the later years through an exercise regimen. Terence Kavanagh, M.D., director of the Toronto Rehabilitation Center in Ontario. “The less you do, the easier you fatigue. And the more you fatigue, the less you are able to do.”
In addition to exercise, diet makes an enormous difference in how people age. “The right foods can help protect against ailments such as heart disease, cancer, osteoporosis, arthritis, and high blood pressure,” states Tom Monte, an editor with Prevention magazine. “Getting enough of certain vitamins and nutrients can increase the body’s resistance to infectious diseases.”
Health habits have a strong influence on both life expectancy and quality of life during old age. Healthful living not only promotes longevity but also increases the chance of having the physical ability to enjoy life to its fullest in later years. And it is never too late to change.
Douglas MacArthur once said,” You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair.”
It’s time now to take another look at the true false test you took earlier.
Go to http://www.tonilamotta.com/consciousaging/myth-quiz password is CONSCIOUS
This time take a look at the answers and compare them to your own. And then, once again, record in your journal what you have found..
To become free of your fear of fear:
- Name the fear and talk about it with trusted mentors or guides
- Imagine your life set free from what you fear
- Act on your fear and diminish its power
Notice how your fear of fear was greater than the thing you feared and that beyond it your life and magnificence become more fully alive.
So, once you’ve discovered the fears, how do you release them. From time to time I’ll send you various programs and techniques – as a supplement to this program. But, for now, I’d like to share the three techniques that I most use in my own life and have found incredibly helpful.
The first is Affirmative Prayer; the second is a process called Fear to Faith and the third is a solution known as EFT – Emotional Freedom Technique.
We’ll start with AFFIRMATIVE PRAYER. Affirmative Prayer is different from the prayers of petition you may have learned as a child. This type of prayer is a scientific process that speaks to the truth of who we are and gets amazing results when applied correctly. It’s a five step process.
RECOGNITION
UNIFICATION
REALIZATION
THANKSGIVING
RELEASE
It’s impossible to give a thorough explanation of this type of prayer here in a short time – more will follow later. But, for now-
Think about the fear that has come up for you and allow yourself for a moment to feel what the opposite of that feeling would feel like. Perhaps it’s PEACE or LOVE or some form of RESTING in a KNOWING of Security. Set that as your intention for the prayer and then begin by RECOGNIZING the quality of GOD that would best represent what it is you think you are missing.
So – for example, I might pray-
God is Love and God’s love is unconditional. God’s love is the same for everyone at every age. God’s love cannot be diminished over time. It is ever present. And in God’s love, there is perfect peace and a sense of everlasting security…. *you can continue in this vein…
NEXT – Unification – When we understand that we are made in God’s image, we begin to realize that we actually are an individualized expression of God itself and so, whatever we know is true about God, is also true about us.
So, we continue our prayer –
This day, this moment, I see and know that I am made in God’s image. I am made of pure love and pure Peace. Security is my birthright. Nothing can separate me from that love and unity. I know this now. Who I am is perfect Peace.
The third step is the REALIZATION – ah – if this is true, then, what does that say about my fears?
WE continue the prayer – Right here and right now, I know and I accept the end of any fear to the contrary. I know that God’s love is everlasting and so it does not stop as I age. I know that no matter what happens in my life, at the center of my being, there is a place of Peace and I can go there at any time and remember the truth of who I am. I do that now. I see myself feeling an incredible sense of union with God itself. I see myself surrounded and filled with perfect love. I allow peace to flood my being and I let go of any myth or belief I may have held in the past. This moment, this day, I accept the truth about my life. It is Free from fear. I am whole and perfect as I am – right here and right now.
And then we move into the next step which is THANKSGIVING –
We pray – I allow myself to feel and to experience profound gratitude for knowing this truth. I see the perfection in life just as it is and just as it is not. I am grateful. I rejoice in my life experience. I see it all as good and only good.
Finally – the last stage is the RELEASE –
We pray – So, I easily release any fear or doubt that I had up until now. I accept the truth of who I really am. I surrender to this moment. I no longer allow my thoughts to be fearful. I entrust myself into the Love that I know I am. I let my word go into the perfect law of the Universe which says, “it is done unto me as I believe”. I do believe. And so it is. Amen.
You don’t need to use the words that I have used here. Just follow the idea. I like to begin each day with Affirmative Prayer. Sometimes it is for release of a particular fear. Sometimes it is an opportunity to set the intention for my day or week. The website http://www.tonilamotta.com will provide you with other samples of Affirmative Prayer for your use. When you change your thinking, you change your life. This is the CLEAREST way I know to change your thinking. Give it a try.
The next technique I want to teach you is something I learned from two awesome spiritual teachers, Marsha Sutton and Lloyd Strom – and they call it fear to faith. I’ve provided two audios and a worksheet on the website
http://www.tonilamotta.com/fear-to-faith The first talks about the process you can use with the worksheet and the second answers questions that may come up after you have tried the process for 7 days. I could site example after example of people who have used this process and have seen amazing changes. It does take DOING it, however. How badly do you wish to eliminate those fears?
Do the work. It works.
The third technique I find extremely beneficial is called the Emotional Freedom technique. EFT. It uses the end points of the 12 major meridian channels and the 2 governing vessels found in Chinese medicine. It has been observed that by tapping on these points while focusing on the problem, a release takes place clearing the physical or emotional pain being worked on.
It is based on the principal that…
The cause of all negative emotions is a
disruption in the body’s energy system.
It seems that while experiencing or focusing on a specific problem, and tapping on the meridians that carry the energy, trapped emotions are cleared and normal function can resume.
I’ve provided a video on the website which shows you exactly where and how to tap
http://tonilamotta.com/eft-tapping-points/
You’ll also find other helpful resources on that page as well that will help you successfully use this powerful technique.
From time to time, I’ll be adding to these resource pages – so be sure to bookmark them. And, I’ll also email the links to you and send periodic reminders to USE all three techniques as well as others that I will recommend from time to time.
Before you go on to the second module on doing a LIFE REVIEW, Please be sure to use your JOURNAL – reflecting on the questions there will help you to unravel and reveal any and all FEARS you may have about aging – and any of the MYTHS that you have bought into – so you can experience genuine FREEDOM and PEACE OF MIND once and for all.