Category: Future – Wk7-8
Setting Intentions for Your Future
If you know what you want to get, you must have an intention to do so. The problem is, that many of us know what we want, but we don’t spend enough time setting intentions. It might sound like a contradiction so say you have an intention if you know what you want, but at the same time, you’re not taking time to set it.
The thing is, it’s not so difficult to decide on what you want in life, it might be a new relationship, new job or maybe more cash in your bank account. These are easy to determine, because they are to meet a desire or realize a dream you may have. Setting an intention to get whatever it is you want goes deeper than that.
Intention is where your desire begins. Everything starts with an intention, it has to, because without it, nothing would ever happen. I might decide to go for a walk or save up for a new car and these things begin with the intention to do so. This might all seem a little obvious, but believe me, setting intentions is a crucial part of bringing what you want into your life.
Finding Your Intention Point
Before setting an intention, it’s worth taking some time to find what is known as, your intention point. Our thought processes and the decisions we make are reached by using our heart and mind. Decisions made with the heart tend to be emotional, while those made with the mind are usually logical.
The intention point is the place that lies between thoughts from the heart and thoughts from the mind. Of course, it’s your mind that has the thoughts, but it’s whether they be emotional or logical, that makes the difference. Where the emotional and logical meet, is the area of the intention point. The equilibrium of thoughts and decisions from your intention point gives a balance, neither too emotional or too logical.
I’m sure you know of at least one person whose intentions are heavily influenced by emotions (from the heart). This type of person can be draining and someone you might try to avoid. Those whose intentions are from only the logical side, can seem cold or too practical and without feeling. By balancing thought and emotion, you’re at your intention point, sometimes it’s also referred to as the gap. This balance will help you set the intentions that will help you towards your desires.
Steps to Setting Intentions
Using your intention point is where you should begin, and this can be achieved through meditation or contemplation. It’s just a matter of being in a quietened, relaxed state so you can be in touch with the balance of thought and emotion. Make sure you’re absolutely clear on your intention. Clarity is very important to make sure there’s no ambiguity as to the destination. It’s no good having an intention to earn more money, how much extra do you want, why do you want it, when do you want it? The clearer you are, the easier the path will be.
Don’t be afraid to aim big, as long as you’re able to break it down into smaller achievable steps. This is similar to coming up with a plan of how you’re going to get there. Attach emotion, the feeling you get from having achieved. Adding emotion at this point is vital. Remember, the intention which is from the point of balanced emotion and logic, now with the added emotion of having achieved, sends a powerful message to the subconscious.
This should be repeated every day, but once done, it should be released, so you detach yourself from the process. It’s not your job to know how it’s going to work, but it is your job to know it’s going to work. You must believe! In short, your desire becomes your intention, your intention becomes your will and your will becomes the action you take. Action on your part is what ultimately creates your destiny, but it’s the whole process that leads to the particular action you take. Dr Wayne Dyer explains it in his book, The Power of Intention: Learning to Co-Create Your World Your Way.
You are the Creator
It shouldn’t be a big revelation that you are the creator of your destiny, you’re the one who needs to take the action to make it happen. It’s knowing which actions you should take that makes the difference. This is where deciding on the intentions you should set, gets you to that point.
You should also practice feeling gratitude because it will give you a lift and change your outlook. Being grateful for your life and the good things you have in it will help towards having positive feelings. This will give a boost to how you feel about your intentions.
Hopefully, you can see how important you are to this whole process, you’re the one who creates it and you’re the one who carries it out. Setting intentions at the beginning raises your vibration, which sets in motion the situations and opportunities that occur along the way. The actions you take on the back of this is what creates your destiny.
Obituary Examples: Writing the Perfect Tribute
How do you sum up a lifetime of memories and accomplishments in a few short paragraphs? If you spend any time on Twitter, then you’re likely comfortable writing messages in short snippets. But it can be different–and more challenging–experience to capture the highlights of a loved one’s life in a short, written format.
If you’re facing the task of writing an obituary for a loved one, then it can be helpful to read funeral obituary examples to spark a few ideas. There’s no reason to start from scratch – we’ve collected a variety of great obituary ideas right here.
What is an Obituary?
An obituary is a written announcement sharing the news that someone passed away. This announcement not only shares the birth and death date, but it usually includes a minimum of one photo of the individual, along with highlights of their accomplishments and even their personality. If there will be services open to the public, then you can also share those details in the obituary.
Traditionally, people posted obituaries as public announcements in newspapers. Now, digital news platforms have digital pages for obituary announcements. Or, you might prefer to publish the obituary through a funeral home or memorial website.
How to Write an Obituary
Where should you start when you are writing an obituary for someone who meant so much to you? It can be daunting to put the right words onto a blank page.
Luckily, our digital age gives you access to quality resources at your fingertips. The simplest solution is to find an obituary format to follow, which outlines the most important information to include in this tribute. Also, take time to read through other obituaries to get a few more ideas.
For detailed guidelines, check out this helpful article we put together: how to write an obituary.
If you’re having trouble getting started, just follow the below obituary template, and start with the section that seems easiest. Then just write without judging yourself until you have a first draft. Then you can go back and organize and edit.
Obituary Template and Format
In the same way, you would use a template for resume design or creating a family chore chart, an obituary template gives you a place to start. An obituary template gives you the framework to create a meaningful tribute by including all the necessary points related to the person’s life.
Writing an obituary can be like reading a Choose Your Own Adventure book. You decide where the specific details fit in the write-up, with a flair of personality and love. Here is a template you can follow to cover the most important details that are standard in an obituary:
- Death Announcement: Often includes the place and date of death. Some families choose to add details about the circumstances of the person’s death.
- Life Events: What major life events should you highlight? Include graduation, marriage, or major accomplishments related to career and hobbies.
- Family Members: How to list survivors in an obituary? A common practice is to list them in order of importance based on relation. For example, spouse and children first, followed by parents, then siblings.
- Event Details: If you are inviting the public to the services, share information about the memorial or funeral times, and location.
- Donation Information: Fundraiser details, memorial funds, or flower donation information is common to include at the end of an obituary.
- Photos: Always include at least one photo of the person. It’s common to include a recent picture, as well as a family picture or throwback to the earlier years of a person’s life.
Great Obituary Examples
As you are reading through the obituary writing examples, you’ll find one common theme: all obituaries notify others when a loved one has passed. But the best obituaries incorporate stories that evoke emotion. Consider these tips for writing a great obituary:
- Range of Emotions: At one point the reader might have a lump in their throat, then break out in laughter reading the next section.
- Details to Avoid: As you read each obituary sample, recognize there are a few elements that you should not include in the notice. For example, think carefully about listing private information such as the person’s maiden name or home address.
- Entertainment Factor: TL;DR? In our age of short attention spans, don’t risk a too-long or too-dull obituary. Look for ways to infuse personality amid the facts of a person’s life.
- Photos: Pictures tell a thousand words, which is why an obituary is never complete without at least one photo. The great news: with a memorial website you can upload multiple photos, and even allow others to share photos, too.
- Memories: Obituary writing is basically short-form storytelling, capturing the life of a person in a few paragraphs. Include any notable memories, such as things the person often said or did.
Want to write a great obituary? Here is an example to spark a few ideas:
Musician and retired elementary school principal Sarah Jones’s love of life didn’t come to an end with her death. Sarah passed away on July 6, 2020, at the age of 79 after a courageous battle with cancer, surrounded by loved ones who will continue to honor her legacy by living their lives to the fullest.
Sarah completed her Bachelor’s degree at the University of New York. After teaching for 10 years, she went back to school to complete a Master’s degree in Educational Leadership. Sarah’s pride was in her school and students, and she shared her passion for learning with thousands of children over the years.
The simplest pleasures in life brought great joy to Sarah. She loved a quiet evening with friends and a glass of wine in hand. During school breaks, Sarah often explored the local hiking trails and found beauty in the spring wildflowers. She had an uncanny ability to find happiness in her daily activities. Her pleasant personality was contagious to everyone she met. Sarah is survived by her husband, Frank; a son, Calvin; a sister, Jenny; and many cousins, nieces, and nephews.
Obituary Examples for Your Mother
You interacted with mom on her good days, bad days, and everything in between. As her child, you’re an ideal person to write an obituary to share the highlights of this beautiful woman. Follow these tips for a great obituary for your mother:
- Life Story for Generations: Not only are you sharing current updates about her life, but consider how these stories will impact future generations.
- Biographical Details: Include specific points that capture biographical details, including achievements and accomplishments.
- Character Traits: What are the most important values and character traits she would like to share? Include those details in the obituary.
- Sense of Humor: How did her sense of humor come out in daily living? Capture the essence of these funny moments, including her quirks and jokes.
- Unique Approach to Motherhood: Finally, consider the details that show who she was, such as her style of motherhood.
Here is an example of an obituary for your mother:
Deborah “Debbie” Lynn Peterson was a caring wife, mother, grandmother, sister, and friend. She left this world suddenly on July 6, 2020 at age 56.
She was born to Craig and Donna Sanders on June 23, 1964. After graduating from high school, Debbie chased her dreams to serve abroad in the Peace Corps where she met her husband, John Peterson. Together, they had 3 children: Brenda, Chad, and Emmy.
Debbie loved spending time in the kitchen, creating delicious meals for her family. Neighborhood children would gather around the kitchen table for after-school cookies and loved listening to Debbie’s stories about her travels. She was a skilled piano player and filled her home with classical music. Most weekends were spent as a volunteer at the local soup kitchen.
A funeral service is scheduled for 11 am on July 9, 2020, at the Presbyterian church on the corner of State Street and Broadway. In lieu of flowers, please donate to the downtown soup kitchen on her behalf.
Obituary Examples for Your Father
Your father is another important figure to honor and memorialize. Capturing dad’s memories in an obituary should include:
- Dad Jokes: If your father was fun and entertaining, write down a few of your favorite dad jokes.
- Personality: Include stories that reveal his personality, including the most memorable moments of life when dad was having fun and interacting with the family.
- Inspiration: There are often stories to share about people overcoming challenges. If your father faced difficulties, then it can be inspiring to share a glimpse of his courage.
- Hobbies: Is there any activity that your dad was passionate about? Include pictures of him in his favorite sports jersey or attending a music festival.
- Fatherhood: Finally, what was the essence he brought to fatherhood and family relationships? Capture the emotions through stories and interactions that happened over the years.
Consider this example if you are carrying the responsibility of writing an obituary for your father:
Richard “Rick” Lopez passed away on July 6, 2020, at the age of 74, in his hometown of Miami, Florida. His battle with serious medical issues in recent years showed his courage in facing life challenges with a smile. Despite the pain, Rick came out a hero and stayed strong until the end.
As a child, Rick proclaimed that his goal was to become a “beach bum” when he grew up. This dream was fulfilled when he opened his paddleboard rental shop where he started selling custom boards for the local surf crowd.
Rick met the love of his life, Mariana, while waiting tables while trying to get his business off the ground. It was love at first sight, and she supported business efforts every step of the way. Together, they had one child: Mateo.
Rick will be honored in a beach-side celebration of life on July 15, 2020. Visiting hours are from 6 – 9 pm, with a short ash scattering ceremony at sunset.
Short Obituary Examples
You’ll find that many examples of touching obituaries tend to be short tributes. Originally, newspaper obituary examples were short because of the cost associated with printing. Now, short obituaries provide bite-sized insights into a person’s life.
- Not Complicated: Don’t overthink the process of writing an obituary. It’s like creating a permanent social media post that will be preserved for history. That being said, do consider having someone proofread it for grammar and spelling, just in case.
- Invitation: Is there a unique activity that honors the individual? Invite event attendees to participate in the way they dress for the services, or to join you for a memorial jog in honor of the person’s passion for marathoning.
- Family List: It’s easy to get carried away with the list of family members. Keep it simple by posting only the closest family members, without a need to get too far out onto the family tree branches.
- Link to Memorial: A short obituary might be a small sample of the information included on a memorial website. If you have a memorial page for the person, then link from the obituary to the memorial site for more information.
- Basic Information: Consider the most basic information that you need to include, such as the death date and funeral details.
If you want to keep it short and sweet, consider this short obituary example:
Daniel Jackson Moore, 63, passed away on July 6, 2020, from an unexpected heart attack. Even though a failing heart took him away from this world, his loving heart left a beacon of light for all in the community.
Daniel is survived by his beautiful wife, Jada. He was a proud Papa to two daughters: Alexis and Brianna. His cheerful attitude and bright smile will be missed at the high school where he worked in the counseling department.
A short graveside ceremony will be held on Friday, July 10, 2020, at the city cemetery, followed by a backyard reception and potluck BBQ.
Funny Obituary Examples (Funny Obituaries)
It’s appropriate to entertain readers through the memorial, especially if you are honoring a person who loved to laugh. Funny obituaries can go viral at times because people love to celebrate life instead of getting caught in the grief and pain of the situation.
- Punchy Lines: It takes time to craft the right words, but be creative in the way you phrase the sentences. Think of details that will evoke the person’s wry sense of humor or general joie de vivre.
- Humor: Include insights into the person’s favorite jokes – even the most irreverent phrases you might hear them say. You may choose to go all out throughout the obituary or to pepper the announcement with a bit of wit and levity.
- Unique Accomplishments: Mention a once-in-a-lifetime story or adventure that speaks to the type of person they were, like a trip to France that went sour or maybe they always went on crazy road trips.
- Quirks and Traits: Sharing details about the person’s favorite drink, TV shows, or pastimes can infuse personality into the obituary. If grandma enjoyed a nip of whisky and the casinos, those who knew her may smile in remembering these details.
- Touching Moments: The most effective funny obituaries make people laugh, while also stirring up emotions as the reader remembers the gifts the person shared in the world.
If you want to lighten the mood to reflect the personality of your loved one, then a funny obituary might be the right answer. Here is an example to give you a few ideas:
Douglas Sanders was a comedian who had no boundaries between his stage show and regular life. He kept people rolling in laughter because he could find humor in the most mundane life circumstances. His recent hobbies included flirting with his hospice nurses and buying random stuff from late-night infomercials.
Anyone else battling colon cancer would have passed quietly with family by their side. Doug went out with a bang: wearing nothing but his basketball shorts while drinking whisky on the couch and watching the NBA playoffs.
Doug had a passionate love affair with ice cream, lasagne, and anything dipped in chocolate. He is survived by his saintly wife, Carol; three children who inherited his quick wit (Joe, Bridget, and Joseph), and a yappy dog named Fido.
Ultimately, there isn’t a right or wrong way to write a good obituary. The goal is to honor the personality of the person and the unique traits and gifts they shared with those they knew, worked with, and loved. Capturing these details in the write-up for an obituary shows your love and gratitude for how the person impacted you and others over the years.
9 Of The Most Incredible Obituaries Ever Written
JUNE 25TH, 2014
Obituaries are one of the most unique forms of literature ever written.
They’re one of the few writings that truly capture someone’s life… if written correctly.
Over the years, we’ve seen many people deciding that the traditional obituary is not for them. Instead, many people today want an obituary that’s memorable and not cookie cutter. One that makes you laugh, cry, or inspires you. We don’t know about you, but a good obituary can truly leave an impression on us. And that’s why we’ve come up with our nine favorite obituaries ever written. But beware: laughter, tears, and inspiration are ahead.
1. Mary A. “Pink” Mullaney
You know when an obituary starts off saying “If you’re about to throw away an old pair of pantyhose, stop” that it’s going to be a great one. This hilarious yet touching obituary continues by explaining all of the lessons we can learn from Mary: “We were blessed to learn many valuable lessons from Pink during her 85 years, among them: Never throw away old pantyhose. Use the old ones to tie gutters, child-proof cabinets, tie toilet flappers, or hang Christmas ornaments. Also: If a possum takes up residence in your shed, grab a barbecue brush to coax him out. If he doesn’t leave, brush him for twenty minutes and let him stay.”
2. Jane Catherine Lotter
This self-written obituary was published by the author of the widely known “The Bette Davis Club”, Jane Catherine, when she realized her time on Earth was coming to an end. She begins her obituary by saying “One of the few advantages of dying from Grade 3, Stage IIIC endometrial cancer, recurrent and metastasized to the liver and abdomen, is that you have time to write your own obituary. (The other advantages are no longer bothering with sunscreen and no longer worrying about your cholesterol.).” We love this obituary because instead of counting career achievements, Jane uses the words of her obituary to thank the people closest to her for teaching her, loving her and being in her life. This obituary is both beautiful and transcendental, and that’s why we love it.
3. Walter George Bruhl, Jr.
This gem of an obituary came our way through Facebook. Posted by his grandson, he explains “Typical of my PopPop: he cut out the middleman and wrote his own damn obituary. He’s the only man I’ve ever known to be able to add his own humor like this. So glad I got to read one more thing from my favorite writer.” Not only is this obituary self-written and hilarious, but it’s also inspiring. At the end of the obituary, Walter requests that “Instead of flowers, Walt would hope that you will do an unexpected and unsolicited act of kindness for some poor unfortunate soul in his name”.
4. Harry Stamps
Out of all the obituaries listed here, Harry Stamps’ obituary takes the cake. Written by his daughter, Amanda Lewis, this obituary is probably the funniest piece of literature we’ve ever read. In her father’s obituary, Amanda describes her father as a ladies man who didn’t take fashion cues from anyone. She goes on to tell us that he had a life-long love affair with deviled eggs, hated Martha Stewart and cats, and belonged to a Bacon of The Month Club. Harry’s last wish? “Finally, the family asks that in honor of Harry that you write your Congressman and ask for the repeal of Day Light Saving Time. Harry wanted everyone to get back on the Lord’s Time.”
5. Lou Reed
This isn’t so much an obituary as it is a letter to the people who knew Lou, but it’s beautiful and deserves a spot on this list. Lou’s wife wrote this obituary for Lou, and you can’t help but get teary-eyed when you make it to the concluding sentence that reads “Lou was a prince and a fighter and I know his songs of the pain and beauty in the world will fill many people with the incredible joy he felt for life. Long live the beauty that comes down and through and onto all of us.”
Read the full obituary here
6. William “Freddie” McCullough
Just like Harry Stamps, William “Freddie” McCullough seems like one heck of a man. His epically hilarious and witty obituary is one of our favorites because of it’s offbeat language and tone. It’s a great contrast to the cookie cutter obituaries you see in the newspaper everyday. Our favorite part? “Freddie was killed when he rushed into a burning orphanage to save a group of adorable children. Or maybe not. We all know how he liked to tell stories.”
Read the full obituary here.
7. Nevena Ann Topic
We’re not sure who wrote Ann’s obituary, but whoever did should be honored for their ability to write such a touching yet simple message honoring her life. The obituary takes a different approach to death, referring to it as a “call”, where the author writes “Ann would like to let you know that her work here is done. She received a call, a sort of an offer you can’t refuse, for an appointment from which she will not be returning. This assignment comes with a huge sign-on bonus, a reunion with family and friends she has not seen in a long time.”
Read the full obituary here.
8. Duck “Doug” Silverman
It’s not everyday that you read an obituary about a pet. But the actress and comedian, Sarah Silverman, took a stab at writing her first her obituary for the love of her life… her dog named Duck. Oddly enough, this obituary was the one who brought tears to our eyes the fastest, especially when she says, “I held him close in our usual spoon position and stroked him. I told him how loved he was, and thanked him for giving me such happiness and for his unwavering companionship and love.” The way Sarah describes her love for Duck is the way you’d describe the kind of love you’ve had all of your life, and that’s why her touching tribute to Duck deserves a spot on this list.
Read the full obituary here
9. Spencer Watson Seupel
If your son committed suicide, the hardest thing you could ever do is write his obituary. But Spencer’s mom, in the midst of her grief, wrote one of the most beautifully written obituaries we’ve ever read. This obituary isn’t even just an obituary; It’s a message that Spencer’s mom has for the world about suicide. Her message is this: “Now Spencer, finally, is at rest, and I hold him close within me. Please hold him close, as I do, in your mind and your spirit. Remember the meaning of this tragedy. If a young man or woman says maybe I’ll kill myself, tell someone. Don’t leave him alone. If a young man or woman drinks too much, say something. It’s not a game; it’s a symptom. And let us find and encourage within ourselves, within our society, those gifts that make each of us special: not star power, not intellectual prowess, but the ineffable mystery and extraordinary beauty of the simple human heart.”
Read the full obituary here
Epitaphs
Celebrity Epitaphs
Jim Morrison Epitaph: “Truth to your own spirit”
“Truth to your own spirit” is the English translation of the epitaph engraved in Greek on rock star Jim Morrison’s tomb in Paris.
James Douglas Morrison
1943–1971
Ernest Shackleton Epitaph: “I hold that a man should strive to the uttermost for his life’s set prize.”
Inscribed on the back of Shackleton’s gravestone, this quote by poet Robert Browning captures the spirit of the famed British explorer who led three expeditions to the Antarctic.
Floyd Patterson Epitaph: “A champion always”
Known as “The Gentleman of Boxing,” Floyd Patterson won an Olympic gold medal and twice was heavyweight champion of the world during two decades in the ring.
In Loving Memory of
Floyd Patterson
Jan. 4 1935 – May 11, 2006
Husband, Father, Grandfather and Friend
A Champion Always
Joe DiMaggio Epitaph: “Grace, dignity and elegance personified”
Joe DiMaggio is one of the greatest baseball players of all time, but his epitaph speaks more to his gracious demeanor than his skill with a bat.
Joseph Paul DiMaggio
November 25, 1914
March 8, 1999
Betty Hutton Epitaph: “Loved by all”
Blond bombshell Betty Hutton was a triple threat entertainer who sang and danced her way to Hollywood stardom before personal demons derailed her career.
Loved by All
Betty Hutton
2-26-1921 – 3-12-2007
Natalie Wood Epitaph: “More than love”
Natalie Wood was one of the biggest movie stars of her generation when she died tragically in a mysterious drowning at age 43.
Natalie Wood Wagner
Beloved Daughter, Sister, Wife, Mother & Friend
1938–1981
“More Than Love”
Gary Moore Epitaph: “Loved beyond the stars”
A simple epitaph for Thin Lizzy rocker Gary Moore (1952–2011).
Robert William Gary Moore
4th April 1952 – 6th February 2011
Musician
Loved beyond the stars
Ian Curtis Epitaph: “Love will tear us apart”
The grave marker for Joy Division frontman Ian Curtis (1956–1980) pays tribute to the band’s classic song.
Ian Curtis
18-5-80
Love will tear us apart
Dean Martin Epitaph: “Everybody loves somebody sometime”
The epitaph on the grave of Rat Pack actor-singer-comedian Dean Martin is taken from one of his signature songs.
Dean Martin
June 7, 1917 – December 25, 1995
Jayne Mansfield Epitaph: “We live to love you more each day”
You can feel the love when you look at the heart-shaped grave of blond bombshell movie star Jayne Mansfield, who died tragically young.
Jayne Mansfield
April 19, 1933
June 29, 1967
Gracie Allen and George Burns Epitaph: “Together again”
The married comedy duo of Gracie Allen and George Burns performed together for 36 years in vaudeville, radio, and television. After her death in 1964, it would be another 30+ years before they were reunited.
Gracie Allen (1902–1964) and George Burns (1896–1996)
Robert Frost Epitaph: “I had a lover’s quarrel with the world.”
The epitaph on the Vermont gravestone of Robert Frost is taken from his poem “The Lesson for Today.”
Robert Lee Frost
Mar. 26, 1874 – Jan. 29, 1963
Bette Davis Epitaph: “She did it the hard way”
In an industry that celebrates ingénues and lovable leading ladies, film icon Bette Davis took on a string of unsympathetic, unlikable characters, breathing life into each role.
Bette Davis
April 5, 1908 – October 6, 1989
“She did it the hard way”
Winston Churchill Epitaph: “I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.”
The British prime minister was also a Nobel laureate for literature, so it’s no wonder he wrote his own epitaph. While it doesn’t appear on his tombstone, it is a fitting self-tribute.
Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
1874–1965
Alexander the Great Epitaph: “A tomb now suffices him for whom the world was not enough”
This well-known epitaph for the ancient conqueror (356 BC–323 BC) sums him up well but good luck finding his tomb — Alexander’s final resting place is the subject of much debate.
Edgar Allan Poe Epitaph: “Quoth the raven, ‘Nevermore’”
A marker at Poe’s original gravesite in Baltimore includes this quote from his famous poem.
Quoth the raven, ‘Nevermore’
Original burial place of
Edgar Allan Poe
from
October 9, 1849
until
November 17, 1875
Mrs. Maria Clemm, his mother-in-law, lies upon his right and Virginia Poe, his wife, upon his left, under the monument erected to him in this cemetery.
Dee Dee Ramone Epitaph: “OK…I gotta go now”
The Ramones’ prolific songwriter and bassist has two epitaphs on his tombstone: “I feel so safe flying on a ray on the highest trails above” (from his song “Highest Trails Above”) and “OK…I gotta go now” (possibly a call-out to his song “Blitzkrieg Bop”).
I feel so safe flying on a ray on the highest trails above
Douglas Glenn Colvin
Sept. 18, 1951
June 5, 2002
DEE DEE RAMONE
O.K…I gotta go now.
Lenny Bruce Epitaph: “Peace at last”
For a guy who made his living telling jokes, comedian Lenny Bruce has a decidedly un-funny epitaph.
Lenny “Bruce” Schneider
Beloved Father – Devoted Son
1925–1966
“Peace at last”
Ritchie Valens Epitaph: “Come on let’s go”
The grave pioneering rock ‘n’ roll singer Ritchie Valens shares with his mother pays tribute to two of his hit songs: “La Bamba” and “Come on Let’s Go.” The gravestone even includes the opening bars of each song.
Valenzuela
Beloved Mother & Sister | Beloved Son & Brother
Concepcion Reyes | Richard Steven
“Concha” | “Ritchie Valens”
Oct. 6, 1915–Oct. 18, 1987 | May 13, 1941–Feb. 3, 1959
“La Bamba” | “Come on Let’s Go”
Frank Sinatra Epitaph: “The best is yet to come”
Frank Sinatra’s epitaph speaks to having faith that a better place awaits and pays homage to one of his many hit songs.
The Best Is Yet to Come
Francis Albert Sinatra
1915–1998
Beloved Husband & Father
Clever and Funny Epitaphs
“Well this sucks”
“I knew if I waited around long enough something like this would happen.”
Playwright George Bernard Shaw (1856–1850) joked that this would make a good epitaph.
“I told you I was ill.”
Comedian Spike Milligan (1918–2002) of “The Goon Show” got one last laugh on his tombstone. The Irish inscription “Duirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite” translates to “I told you I was ill.”
“She always said her feet were killing her, but no one believed her.”
“Shit happens”
“Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”
Writer and wit Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) quipped that this would make a good epitaph for her.
“I’m a writer, but then nobody’s perfect.”
The funny epitaph of filmmaker Billy Wilder (1906–2002) is a nod to the funny final line of his classic comedy “Some Like It Hot.”
“There goes the neighborhood.”
It’s hard to think of a better epitaph for stand-up comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921–2004), known for his self-deprecating humor and “I don’t get no respect” schtick.
“I will not be right back after this message.”
As a popular television talk show and game show host, Merv Griffin (1925–2007) went to commercial countless times. But there was one commercial break he couldn’t come back from.
“Jack Lemmon in…”
During his lifetime, Oscar-winning actor Jack Lemmon (1925–2001) starred in more than 60 films and had his name in lights on theater marquees. Now he has one starring role for eternity.
“If you can read this, you are standing on my boobs”
“Let ’er rip”
RIP on a tombstone typically means “rest in peace.” But for actor Leslie Nielsen (1926–2010), who made generations laugh as the star of “Airplane!” and “The Naked Gun” movies, it was one final fart joke.
“That’s all folks”
A fitting and funny epitaph for Mel Blanc (1908–1989), the man of a thousand voices who gave life to Porky Pig, Bugs Bunny, and countless classic animated characters.
Profound and Meaningful Epitaphs
“Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty I’m free at last”
A fitting epitaph for the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. (1929–1968) who led the struggle for African American civil rights and dreamed of a world where all were free and equal.
“It was a hell of a life”
“Shall I be gone long?”
The epitaph of U.K. poet laureate Cecil Day-Lewis (1904-1972), father of award-winning actor Daniel Day-Lewis, comes from his poem “Is It Far to Go?”
Shall I be gone long?
Forever and a day.
To whom there belong?
Ask the stone to say.
Ask my song.
“Death is but the key”
This profound epitaph can be found on the tombstone of best-selling horror writer James Herbert (1943–2013).
“Death is the close of life’s alarms, the watch-light on it’s shores, the clasping in immortal arms of loved one’s gone before.”
“Beneath this dolesome veil she rests, her weary head serene, from busy life, she’s peaceful laid, no sorrows intervene.”
“Cast a cold eye on life, on death. Horseman, pass by!”
Poet William Butler Yeats (1865–1939) wrote this epitaph for himself. It can be found on his gravestone in Ireland.
“Fairwell vain world I’ve known enough of thee”
Farewell vain world I’ve known enough of thee
and now am careles what thou sayes of me
thy smiles I cort not now thy frowns I fear
my cares are past my head lieth quiat here
what falts thou sawest in me now strive to shun
there is worke enough within thee to be done
“I used to measure the skies, now I measure the shadows of Earth. Although my mind was sky-bound, the shadow of my body lies here.”
Astronomer Johannes Kepler (1571–1630) composed this epitaph for himself a few months before he died.
“We who loved you will watch for you in the night sky; for surely you will race across the heavens faster than any star”
“The memory of the just is blessed”
Sacred to the Memory of Eliza Crowhurst
A devoted mother who carved the headstone
on this grave and wheeled it in a barrow
from Percydale to the cemetery
to erect it thereon.
“Well played”
This fitting tribute to English cricketer Harry Bagshaw (1859–1927) is followed by “For when the one Great Scorer comes to write against your name, He writes not that you won or lost but how you played the game.”
“See you at the far post”
The tombstone for footballer Billy Ayre (1952–2002) pays homage to his career as a player and manager with multiple clubs in England. It also shows how much he meant to his family.
“He lies in the valley he loved”
The epitaph of English writer Laurie Lee (1914–1997).
“Weeping for the living and the dead”
Epitaph on a monument marking the burial place of 31 unidentified persons who died in the Windsor Hotel fire of 1899.
“I travelled the world with work that I love”
Martin Guy White (1944–1999) had the rare privilege of seeing the world while doing something that he loved. Twice he was honored with the Polar Medal, awarded to citizens of the United Kingdom for service in the Arctic and/or Antarctic.
“She loved bamboo”
We don’t know much about Eleanor Crum. But we do know that she loved bamboo, thanks to the epitaph on a plaque at the Hawaii Tropical Botanical Garden.
“A cowboy’s friend”
“We plough the fields and scatter the good seed on the land”
An epitaph on the tombstone of an English farmer.
“Each tool is laid aside worn with work done with pride”
“The outward mark of respect paid to men merely because they are rich and powerful … hath no communication with the heart”
Epitaph on the tombstone of English politician John Frost (1784–1877).
“He found happiness and honor in being helpful to the world”
Born into slavery, George Washington Carver (c. 1860s–1943) was a prominent scientist who promoted agricultural methods that were environmentally sustainable and would improve the health and well-being of poor black farmers.
“Pertransit benefaciendo”
A common epitaph, this Latin phrase roughly translates to “this person went about doing good.”
“A true hero and civil rights activist”
The epitaph for Fred Korematsu (1919–2005) pays tribute to the deceased and provides a history lesson about the treatment of Japanese Americans during World War II.
Born in Oakland, Fred wanted only to be treated like every other American. Defying the 1942 order for the internment of Japanese Americans, he stood strong against anti-Asian prejudice in the United States during World War II. He challenged our nation’s conscience, reminding us that we must uphold the rights of our own citizens even as we fight tyranny in other lands. A true hero and civil rights activist, Fred was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in January 1998.
“When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one.”
It doesn’t get much more profound than the epitaph for “gay Vietnam veteran” Leonard Matlovich (1943–1988), the first gay service member to purposely out himself to the military to fight their ban on homosexuals.
Never Again | Never Forget
6 July 1943 | 22 June 1988
A Gay Vietnam Veteran
“When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one.”
“And so he passed over and all the trumpets sounded for him on the other side”
In loving memory of RAF pilot officer Sir Christopher Albert de Bathe, killed on active service 3 June 1941.
“Sacrificed their lives in saving the train”
A brutally honest epitaph for two heroes who gave their lives in the line of duty.
Walter Peart, driver, and Harry Dean, fireman of the Windsor Express
Whilst being scalded and burned sacrificed their lives in saving the train
“I pray that the union of these states may be eternal”
Pioneering publicist, travel writer, and newspaper editor Anne Royall (1769–1854) was by some accounts the first professional woman journalist in the United States. Born just before America claimed independence from Great Britain, Royall had the success of the young nation on her mind when she died just half a decade before the onset of the Civil War.
“An inflexible friend of the American union”
John Minor Botts (1802–1869) was a prominent Unionist in Richmond, Virginia during the American Civil War. His gravestone includes an epitaph and a quote, both of which highlight his love of country.
He was under all circumstances an inflexible friend of the American Union.
“I know no North, no South, no East, no West. I only know my country, my whole country, and nothing but my country.”
“Figment”
On death and remembrance, iconic artist Andy Warhol (1928–1987) had this to say: “I never understood why when you died, you didn’t just vanish, everything should just keep going on the way it was only you just wouldn’t be there. I always thought I’d like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I’d like it to say ‘figment’.”
“In some new brain the sleeping dust will waken…”
The epitaph of poet John Drinkwater (1882–1937) is taken from his poem “Amaranth.”
In some new brain the sleeping dust will waken;
Courage and love that conquered and were done,
Called from a night by thought of man forsaken,
Will know again the gladness of the sun.
“Our enduring inspiration”
The epitaph on the tombstone of English Green Party politician Mike Woodin (1965–2004) is followed by “Love you, miss you, love you, miss you, love you, miss you.”
“An unfortunate but good man”
“Good people”
“My life is more than my action”
The epitaph on the tombstone of British musician Mike Taylor (1938–1969) of the band Cream:
I dive from a springboard
into cool clear water
and yet I furnish my springboard
with my experience
so that my life is more than my action.
“I did it my way”
“Happy they who fearing God fear nothing else”
“Bringing their sheaves with them”
“Life goes, remembrance will be always”
Epitaphs for Family and Friends
“Beloved father, son, and friend”
“Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friend”
“Loving son, brother, friend and fiancee”
“Ambassadors, Writers, Teachers”
“Devoted Son … Caring Brother … Loving Husband … Proud Father … Adoring Papa”
The headstone for musician Mean Gene Kelton (1953-2010) highlights important family relationships.
Epitaphs for Brothers and Sisters
“Brother”
“Sister”
“Beneath this stone two sisters sleep who’ve left us here a while to weep; in bloom of youth were call’d away, transient as theirs may be our stay”
Epitaphs for Children
“Born in God’s hands”
“Beloved daughter”
“Our little boy … He shall gather the lambs in His arms”
“My babe is dead and shall see’t no more, that blessed angel’s face I now deplore. But all my hopes and sweetest comfort this, to meet my darling in the realms of bliss.”
“Suffer little children to come unto me”
“Safely anchored”
“I have chosen you”
Epitaphs for Mothers and Fathers
“Father”
“Mother”
“Our dad, a wonderful man. We love you.”
“Wise, wonderful, devoted, angelic mother”
“You were the sweetest and the greatest of any woman God created”
You were the sweetest and the greatest of any woman God created
You’ve been our friend and our Mother, always helped us, always loved us
You tried so hard to guide us, and Mother you never once denied us
So our love for you isn’t easily expressed, for in our eyes, you’ll always be best
Though you lie here as asleep, as each day passes we cry and weep
Because we hold you in our memory forever, we know there will never be another
To take the place of you, our precious Mother
“She has soared away to a better land”
She has soared away to a better land
She has left us here a broken band
Our Mother has gone never to return
“Mum and Dad with all our love”
Epitaphs for a Partner or Spouse
“Loving companion of”
Wife and Widow
“Till death do us part … From his true and faithful wife”
“They were lovely in their lives and in death they were not parted.”
“Darling Amelia she has left me, yes forever more. But I hope to meet my loved one on that bright and happy shore.”
“I shall be satisfied when I awake with thy likeness”
“Reunited”
Facing Death
“I want us to recognize our tremendously strong impulse to draw a conclusion, to think we know. But it’s in the NOT knowing—the inquiry, the curiosity, the humility, the beginner’s mind—that we create a real opening.”Terry Patten
An extraordinary, heartfelt conversation with spiritual practitioner, teacher, activist, Integralist, and author Terry Patten, who was at the time facing his own mortality following a recent diagnosis of a rare and aggressive cancer. An inner radiance shines forth as Terry, with much graciousness and candor, discusses the call to “get real”—not only personally but also collectively; his deepened perception of the “amazing grace of existence;” the directionality that has guided much of his life; and action inquiry: working on becoming next-stage human beings by experimenting with being the best people we can be. A touching and transformative talk, Terry conveys the deepening understanding coming from living on the edge and transmits a “radical okayness” with everything.
Recorded September 21, 2021.
Topics & Timestamps: Part 1
- The call to “get real,” personally and collectively; waking up to the miracle of existence (04:17)
- With the diagnosis, the burden fell away (21:44)
- Mortality versus morbidity: many sufferings are worse than death (31:02)
- The directionality that guided Terry’s life and wanting to be “good” (41:11)
- Encountering his root guru, Adi Da (44:50)
- The importance of being kind (46:54)
- Let’s bend a knee to something greater than ourselves and LISTEN (53:43)
- The radical okayness of it all (55:52)
- Action inquiry and evolving into a new stage of human development (56:27)
Resources & References
- Terry Patten, A New Republic of the Heart: An Ethos for Revolutionaries*
- The nonprofit organization A New Republic of the Heart invites spiritual practitioners and change agents to learn, practice, and collaborate in becoming the next-stage human beings who can rise to our collective moment.
- Terry Patten.com
- Rumi, “The Beloved,” The Way of the Sufi*
- Stephen Jenkinson, Die Wise*
- Adi Da, American spiritual teacher
- Aldous Huxley, “Try to be a little kinder.”
- His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, Compassion and the Individual
- Joanna Macy, The Great Turning or the Great Unraveling: It’s Our Choice
- Brightening Every Darkness, 4-part webinar offered in the last weeks of Terry’s life, with Terry, Diane Hamilton, Indra Adnan, and Craig Hamilton
About Terry Patten
An integral coach, consultant, teacher, and author of four books, Terry’s work focuses on serving “the integral heart” by evolving the leading edge of leadership and practice. He was the senior writer and co-author, with Ken Wilber, of Integral Life Practice: A 21st-Century Blueprint for Physical Health, Emotional Balance, Mental Clarity, and Spiritual Awakening.
About Roger Walsh
Roger Walsh, M.D., Ph.D., has spent nearly a quarter century researching and practicing in the world’s great spiritual traditions. His critically acclaimed book, Essential Spirituality, is a summary of that wisdom, outlining the seven spiritual practices common to the world’s major religions.
About John Dupuy
John Dupuy is co-founder and CEO of iAwake Technologies, a company that creates cutting-edge, high-tech brainwave entrainment soundtracks that support the healing of emotional/shadow issues, deepen meditation, mental focus, creativity, and flow states, and enhance a daily integral transformative practice. John has been working personally and professionally with brainwave entrainment technology since 2004, and travels internationally to teach and inspire on the subjects of Integral Transformative Practice and Integral Recovery®. John is also the author of Integral Recovery: A Revolutionary Approach to the Treatment of Alcoholism and Addiction (SUNY Press, 2013), winner of the 2013 USA Best Book Award, and co-host of the popular Journey of Integral Recovery podcast. John also hosts the online series Spiritual Tech Talks 2.0, in which he converses with leaders, pioneers, and inventors on the current wave of emerging spiritual technologies.
Self-Forgiveness Ritual
Self-Forgiveness Ritual
Now, here’s a simple self-forgiveness ritual you can practice to lay down the heavy burdens of guilt, shame, and self-recrimination so you can experience wholeness, freedom and love.
- Find a comfortable, quiet place to sit with your feet on the floor.
- Close your eyes and breathe deeply, allowing your body to relax.
- When ready, allow your mind to return to something in your past about which you are still feeling shame or guilt. Don’t try to force it; just let it gently come into your consciousness. Perhaps you will see it appear on the screen of your mind, or maybe you will hear voices, or feel sensations. Don’t judge what you are experiencing; simply note it and continue to breathe deeply.
- If you note tension in your body, imagine a warm beam of light traveling from the crown of your head to the affected area. When the light arrives to the point of tightness, imagine warmth and healing energy penetrating this area with a golden glow.
- Now, take five deep inhales and exhales. As you inhale, say to yourself, “I accept forgiveness.” On your exhale, say, “I release all anger and negativity.” If you feel resistance, don’t fight it. Again, simply notice the sensation and continue to breathe.
- If you feel moved to do so, repeat this exercise with another memory of something you’re holding onto and judging yourself for.
- When you feel complete, take three more deep breaths, and then open your eyes.
You can repeat this ritual of self-love as often as you like.
Be gentle with yourself; you may be surprised to discover all the areas you’ve been holding anger or guilt! Remember, this is a practice, something you can return to again and again. Over time, you’ll sense that you’ve set down the heavy burdens of shame and self-judgment.
We practice self-forgiveness so that we can be active parts of spreading peace and beauty. Self-forgiveness, self-compassion, self honesty and self-love lead to integration and wholeness. When we restore our relationship with ourselves, we can be emissaries of love, peace, and compassion to the world.
Love’s greatest creative power is ignited by the conscious action of compassion. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself; allow yourself to forgive YOU, just as much as another.
The Ancient Ho’oponopono Ritual
An Ancient Ho’oponopono ritual for forgiveness was necessary when someone in the family had fallen ill, the ancient Hawaiians believed. The resentment and unwillingness to forgive would have caused the illness.
The Hawaiians believed that resentment and unwillingness to forgive made a person ill. The one who became ill was not necessarily the one with the most hatred or unforgiving thoughts.
When a child fell physically ill the family took this as a sign that someone in the family was carrying anger or hate within. A Ho oponopono ritual was necessary.
Ho’oponopono – To make Right Right
Ho’oponopono means literally “To make right right” (Ho’o = to make, pono=right) or as Dr. Matt James puts it “To make double right”. And that is what forgiveness does. He further says that when the first Westeners came to ancient Hawaii, there was hardly anyone to be found who was mentally or physically ill. He believed that was mostly down to their practice of forgiveness.
You can try the modernized method yourself and find how thoroughly liberating forgiveness can be in your life.
A Kahuna, a healing priest, performed the reconciliation and healing ritual of Ho oponopono while preferably all family members were present.
The Kahuna would try to discover where the resentment within the family unit was hidden. If there was a problem with a member of another family group, both families would be asked to gather and the ritual would be initiated.
The Ancient Ho’oponopono Ritual
When everyone had gathered, the person with the resentment would begin. He would be guided by the Kahuna to calmly explain why he felt resentment and towards who. Next he would be asked to forgive. He would say something like this:
“If I, any of my family members or ancestors have done any harm to you, any of your family members or ancestors, please forgive me and forgive us. In the name of my family and ancestors and in my name I forgive you. And we forgive all of your family and your ancestors.”
Each person present would reply: “We forgive you. Please forgive us.”
Then the second person, who the resentment was aimed at, would be the next to perform the forgiveness ritual. This would be be repeated until every person had a chance to perform their ritual.
The goal was that everyone present left the gathering with a lighter heart and unburdened consciousness and from then on would be able to live a happier life.
That is where the power of this healing ritual really lies. Where it fits with A Course in Miracles. Forgiveness is the most powerful tool to open the portal to true happiness. Many of us misunderstand though what forgiveness actually is, but that is ok. First of all we have to be willing to forgive, no matter what it may mean for us.
The ancient Hawaiians have recognized the connection between unforgiving thoughts and illness, and forgiveness and healing.
That powerful ritual was passed on from the older generations to the younger ones, verbally. When the missionaries arrived at the islands and gained in power they found the ritual to be a threat to the Christian faith, and it was forbidden.
But it remained alive in the underground within the families. Through Joe Vitale and Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len that powerful healing ritual made its way and became very popular to the western world again. And its wisdom has finally arrived for us to make use of it, too. Here you can learn how to use it.
This article by Kalikiano Kalei called Hawaii Through the Looking Glass: Ancient Manners & Customs gives quite a good insight into the Ancient Hawaiians’ way of thinking.
More on Ho’oponopono
Thank you so much for reading my post. It means a lot! I would love to know your thoughts! You can leave a comment if you like, just scroll down below. I will answer it as soon as I can. I have put together some articles which might interest you. Otherwise come and join me on Instagram. Yours, Judith